Portugal 3 – 2 England

The start of a new decade saw England receive a spate of dramatic beatings from Portugal. Whereas 2004 and 2006 would be settled on penalties, this one was a bit more chaotic. Recently installed as manager, old Kev Keegan could’ve got carried away thinking his boys were going to mount a serious challenge after 20 minutes. But this is England. Those twenty minutes (plus Alan Shearer’s header against the Germans) were the only real highlights in a frankly dismal campaign. Once Figo smashed a screamer off Tony Adams’ shin into the top corner, you kind of knew the whole thing was pointless. It’s the Keegan way: all or nothing. So nothing, then. Got it.